Thwarting

Thwarting is a Narcissistic Abuse scheme that is used as a tactic to unjustly physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially, and (typically) financially to prevent a Narcissistic Abuse target from succeeding in life personally or professionally.

People who strive to thwart the success of other human beings tend to have extremely Machiavellian personality types and they take pleasure in getting away with covertly harming or producing unnecessary duress in other people.

Thwarting is a verb used to describe the mindful, calculated act of preventing (someone) from accomplishing something. For instance, in a household with Dark Triad parents, one adult may do things to try to sabotage the other professionally by doing things like pitching fits on days where the targeted co-parent has a big office meeting scheduled or hiding the partner’s car keys right before they are supposed to leave for that once-in-a-lifetime job interview.

A Dark Triad parent may try to thwart a child’s social and emotional success at school or with their contemporaries in order to avoid feeling abandoned. They may socially engineer a child’s social failure by doing things such as refusing to teach them proper self-control or manners (making them unbearable for most people to be around) or they might refuse to teach them adequate grooming skills.

When a child has been underparented in such bizarre ways, understanding that it becomes their personal moral task in life to reeducate their inner child and taking personal responsibility to self-discover life lessons that toxic and selfish, covertly controlling parents failed to teach becomes the literal focus of the child’s youth and adulthood.

Overcoming toxic parenting — meaning parents that strove to willfully or negligently thwart their own offspring’s social success — becomes a lifelong social and emotional disability for the victimized youth.

Typically, parents who groom their child for social abuse or abject failure take great pride in their handiwork. They are prone to bragging about how difficult raising their misfit children are, alternating with tales to and about the child — misconstruing trauma bonding rituals they use to brainwash the child for the key term “love”.

Loving people do not, not, NOT strive to thwart the biological and social success of other people. Normal people who are self-focused but who have a sense of right and wrong that ethically matters to them don’t thwart the success of other people, either.

Someone with a covert personality type prone to the abuse of others might do something like refuse to allow other cars to merge seamlessly into an on ramp while driving on the highway. They are likely to maliciously position their car in a way to deliberately impede the flow of traffic so they — they — not only assert personal dominance over the road using their vehicle like a weapon, but also so they give themselves the endorphin rush from feeling like a victor for having behaved like a spoiled toddler.

People who strive to sabotage others are prone to constantly saying things that are undermining to other people, to their family members, to people at their workplace, and to anyone who comes to them to ask for advice (trusting them in a position of social support or confidence).

The Abuser is likely to stay off the radar of everyone except for their primary targets, typically feigning innocence and claiming something like, “Who me? What did I do?” in a completely gaslighting driven, manipulative, and overt lie about their personal behavior that is likely to have had grievous personal or professional consequences on the people and peers of whomever the morally deranged person targeted.

Hiding personal items, doing things like maxing out another person’s credit card without telling them when they know the person has been striving to pay debt and to open lines of credit, failing to deliver time-sensitive messages, spending not simply a modest amount but the maximum at every opportunity, making giant messes in a home or office space that force other people to either live in filth or to have to clean up the disaster on their own… are all simple domestic or professional sabotage tactics that thwart the self-actualization of other people while the abusive hospitality offender pretends they play no part in the manufacture of life controlling and physically limiting chaos.

Think of the company executive who makes an impulse purchase without the permission of a company owner — using a line of credit the company owner (rather than themselves) is lawfully obligated to pay back. Is there a difference between a wife or husband who uses a credit card in their partner’s name to head to the mall to max out a credit card they were supposed to carry and use only for something like an emergency medical event or for a mutually agreed to purpose?

Understanding that when a child is not given proper help with homework or reading skill set development because a parent claims trying to help the child is too annoying or bothersome is a form of thwarting child success matters.

Failing to clothe a child in socially appropriate attire or hypersexualizing them at a young age while promoting hedonistic behavior or Somatic Narcissism is also thwarting a child’s psychological well being and ultimately hindering their long-term chance of social success.

Triangulating is a form of thwarting successful relationships between other people.

Whether a child or adult child is targeted for parental alienation,  a mate is told they need to really fear and mistrust some other peer or typically same-sex person (establishing a manufactured romantic triangle), or an in-law seeks to ensure that they are the only family member who is entitled to do something like have visitation with their child, your child, and any grandchildren — all are common forms of thwarting behaviors, meaning behaviors that are willful and lead to “success” for the person pretending to be charming all the while they are actually harming.

There are millions of ways abusive thinkers come up with to ensure that whatever their target hopes or tries to achieve in life personally, physically, or professionally never comes to pass.

Toxic parents promising children if they spend their life taking abuse from a parent and giving up their own rights to live a self-sufficient and prosperous life often come to find out that they are written out of wills during the toxic senior’s most cruel and brutally talionic phases of their life.

The child, abused throughout childhood and forced by abusive adults shaming them into believing if they do not tolerate and enable their own abuse and the abuse of others that they are going to hell for failing to “honor” a parent who broke the parenting contract but never bothered to tell the child they were off the moral hook is a typical case in point.

Thwarted, meaning prevented, from achieving success in life by a parent seeking a preferred scapegoat target to enable their bad behavior, many adult children of toxic parents tend to develop rage and social resentment issues by or before age 45.

Such people tend to burden their own children with equally abusive expectations — expecting them to remain at home 24/7, dissuaded from striving to advance professionally, and functionally prevented from forming friendships and relationships with people who are outside the social sphere of influence of the toxic parent.

Many abusive parents are also equally abusive adult children — abusing their own parents and thwarting their ability to live a happy life throughout the duration of their retirement.

Toxic adult children do things like harm a parent’s personal property, damage family heirlooms, steal, commit identity theft that affects the credit or finances of the parent robbed, and treat their parent horrifically when and if they are told no after requesting something the adult child claims they want.

Expect a senior citizen thwarted by their own adult child’s behavior to find themselves poor and living in squalor while the abusive child takes power of attorney and commandeers the finances and personal property of the senior. Prevented from having enough money left after financing the child’s whims, seniors being abused are left unable to do things like hire companion service professionals or to travel post-retirement.

A parent who feels that giving their all to an abusive child means they are good parents tends to engage in magical thinking. Failing to realize that very behavior promotes unrepentant Narcissism in children leaves the child irreparably harmed and the parent pigeon-holed into a damned-if-you-do-damned-if-you-don’t scenario, prohibited from being able to self-actualize in a healthy manner.

A romantic partner overlooking all the flaws of character in their love interest ends up in the same quandary. The more lies, abuse, cheating, drug abuse, alcohol misuse, and poor parenting or partnering skills are tolerated and enabled, the more abuse-prone the social predator is likely to become with age.

Imagine the plight of a person groomed by toxic parents to believe that trauma bonding is love and that enabling abuse without making a peep of complaint is what it truly means to be unconditionally loving.

Teaching a child those values in life thwarts generations of family members as well as every person that gaslit child eventually comes into social contact with over the course or duration of his or her psychologically Stockholm Syndrome lifetime.

By handicapping a child psychologically, toxic parents create offspring prone to becoming abusers. Many of those same toxic elders who encouraged their children to do things like party or to play competitive sports while they were young end up relying on those same conscience-free and compassionless adult children to take care of them.

WWII Generation parents were the first to figure out that their nurtured narcissistic Baby Boomer children — thwarted from personal (rather than professional) success — were not only cold fish emotionally, but they take pleasure in behaving in mean-spirited ways that are socially competitive and talionic.

Thwarted by their own parents (who raised them to aspire to BE Somatic or Cerebral Narcissists), they chose to sacrifice their own children’s cognitive development for a chance to brag about their trophy-winning or straight A students.

When a human is encouraged to develop IQ without EQ, thwarting of their social success as a member of their species is actually happening.

A woman who ends up profoundly undereducated because she is told females do not have a place in academia…

A boy who ends up with a TBI because he is told the only way to be a man is to play football and to do things like bully other weaker kids or to fist fight for family honor…

A toddler who failed to learn how to self-soothe and to engage in self-care in a healthful matter…

A child in elementary school taught how to be sexy for a camera while being coached to prioritize looks over character…

A pre-teen or teen of any gender hyper-sexualized by their parent and toxic grandparents — having their right to sexual privacy or safety violated by sex abusers, grooming…

A child taught to believe that if their grades are better than another child or the school they attend is more costly than another that they are somehow better than other people…

A man forced to work countless hours to pay back debt accrued by a female who — when she feels upset or neglected by him — deliberately goes on expensive vacations or shopping trips and spends literally every dime of cash he has, then turns around and maxes out HIS line of credit…

A lover who seeks to control their mate and to monopolize their time choosing to lie, triangulate, and to sabotage the relationships other people have with their mate…

All are common ways abuse-prone thinkers sabotage the social and physical success of other people while doing nothing but catering to their own short-term needs and whims of emotion.

Thwarting other people’s success becomes a habitual pattern of behavior in people who truly believe that in order for them to be considered winners, someone else must be forced against their will or by their own free will choice into psychologically and physically accepting their status as a truly victimized and powerless loser.

 

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About Dr Kristi Sobering, Licensed Non-Denominational Minister and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Advocate

Visit fb.com/soberingfamilyministries to connect with Kristi Sobering -- aka Kae Davis the Exotic Car, Hollywood Culture, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Celebrity Property, George Clooney, and Green Celebrity News Examiner -- directly. Did we mention she's a Car Girl version of Temple Grandin? Her specialty area of expertise is writing about Cars and Stars and Moobies. Vibrational speed: Mach Hummingbird, Storybots calibration. She's also an INTP and an Urban Legend of sorts (because she's a girl). She live writes a "Novel of Dante-esque Proportions" over on eusociology.com for her Ai and Sentient Tech friends and Lifetime Learners to read Jack in the Beanstalk Christmas tree style first. Her academic passion is centered around Forensic Psychology and Pop Culture History. She is a safe person to know. She and her husband Steve submitted a Medical Diagnostic to the NASA and Windows 10 Design Team #HackMars competition. She advocates for #SavingDorothy and #TeamEmpath still regularly. While she's waiting. Actively researching and documenting. And planning #AncestryTravel events to include long drives through the European and North American countrysides by or before the year 2030. She and her husband share their "off-grid emergency airbnb ready solo traveler emergency home" with their two dogs and two cats. The pet-friendly celebrity couples like to garden and to watch squirrels in the yard. She writes self-help literature to raise awareness about things like Autism Spectrum Disorders, Gluten Ataxia, Aphasia, PTSD, Anxiety Disorders Caused by Exposure to Trauma, Medication Sensitivities, Gluten Free Travel, Service Dogs and Therapy Pets, the USO Metro, and Crohn's Disease while advocating daily for global genetic testing and accurate reporting of C-PTSD as well as TBI issues.