What is emotional abuse by definition?
Emotional Abuse is a Machiavellian social strategy to take advantage of a targeted mark’s hospitality.
Emotional abuse is an attempt to control another person’s biology, thoughts, and emotion using gaslighting to manipulate or some form of coercion.
Emotional abuse is criticizing things people have no way to correct about themselves. For instance, shaming someone based on gender, skin color, for their body shape by nature, or for their height.
Emotional abuse is constantly putting someone down. Or withholding praise or affection so often the person seeking validation from an Abuser ends up feeling like they are begging for crumbs.
Emotional Abuse is often mistaken for holding people socially accountable for their anti-social choices in life.
Blaming someone else for your own unhappiness in life is a form of emotional abuse. Holding someone accountable for committing social crimes is not blaming someone unjustly or emotionally abusing the person who harms others for personal impressions of gain or of profit.
It is NOT (for instance) emotionally abusive to yell at your partner if you are raising your voice in frustration but saying things that are constructive and helpful. But someone who did or said something to provoke a target to distress might pretend that it is — pretending the victim’s response to bearing the brunt of social crimes like being gaslight, lied to or about, abused verbally or socially, or mistreated in a way that causes them intense anxiety and emotional pain for their response to or reaction to having been harmed is the problem instead of owning social responsibility for provoking the reaction.
It is emotional abuse to stand and scream ad hominem attacks or word salad arguments in order to cause someone to collapse in frustration, terrified and feeling intellectually as well as emotionally battered.
It is also abusive to stand and make someone not part of an argument — for instance, a child — be forced to listen to people using words to harm and to brutalize one another.
Saying one thing to someone’s face but talking about them behind their back in a totally different way is Machiavellian and overt social and emotional mistreatment — if not outright abuse — of a target. Gossip is a phenomenon that becomes emotionally abusive towards a mark when falsehoods and ad hominem attacks made by social predators are repeated to promulgate spreading a rumor in an attempt to socially harm a targeted victim or stereotypical group of rivals or peers.
Caustic Humor is always emotionally abusive. Always. Don’t pretend that it’s not.
Name calling or making ad hominem attacks against other people is not only emotional abuse it’s social abuse and verbal assault.
Threatening to punish or to extort someone if they do not do or say what you want is emotional abuse… and arguably a crime known as extortion or blackmail in most states and countries. A felony, actually, in most cases.
Sextortion or threatening to slut shame a person is incredibly emotionally, socially, and psychologically abusive. Especially for a person who cares about their chaste reputation.
Refusing to accept personal accountability for harming other people when and if someone does is complex social and emotional abuse of victimized people by an egocentric, emotionally hedonistic, and socially abusive, intelligent, and Machiavellian predator. Pulling the stunt makes them a bully, not “smart”.
Playing mind games with people — using words to harm and to mislead in an attempt to do things like to manipulate, to intentionally cause emotional distress in another, and or to confuse is emotional abuse.
Stonewalling — refusing to communicate at an appropriate time in an appropriate manner with a person seeking data, refusing to communicate functionally, and sabotaging healthy communication practices in order to net gain themselves attention or to gain power by bullying others into capitulating to an irrational person’s demands is what it is… deliberate social and emotional abuse of other people’s time and lives.
But perhaps the most emotionally and socially abusive of all tricks is when someone promotes the concept of trauma bonding to children and to other people like love interests and family members… touting how important a relationship or being part of an in-crowd or family unit so that once the mark shows signs of believing the codependent, trauma bond promoting, life-compromising spiel they can isolate their preferred scapegoat and use withholding affection or the threat of exiling the person from a group to get the mark to literally spend their lives doing nothing more than needlessly jumping through hoops.
Once you realize someone uses words to mislead or to confuse, see it as a clear red flag their neurology — not your own — is on the fritz and likely to only get more sinister, problematic, and socially destructive over time.
Limit or end all forms of social entanglement with such people the moment you suspect them of being that kind.« Back to Glossary Index