Withholding

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Withholding affection from a romantic partner, family member, or child is Narcissistic Abuse. The social predator, seeking to control the emotional psychology of their target, withholds not simply attention but actually strives to make the target feel invisible.

People who withhold affection from their loved ones in order to punish or manipulate display a high degree of Narcissism and Sociopathy in their thinking.

According to the Daily Plate of Crazy (a self-help themed Psychology resource), “Behaviors, such as silent treatment and withholding affection, often overlap. Both are forms of rejection, but they are actually two separate things. When your spouse gives you the silent treatment, she refuses to acknowledge your presence.”

Withholding sex, for instance, is a toxic thinking inspired Narcissistic Abuse tactic routinely deployed by passive-aggressive romantic partners. With the goal of forcing a love interest to perform, change their behavior pattern, or to stop doing something that the Machiavellian thinker finds displeasing, the person who withholds affection and sex from a mate until such a day or time that their demands for attention or capitulation to non-sexual desire are met.

People who withhold affection from their romantic partners in order to manipulate are a special kind of cold, psychologically speaking. It’s crucial to understand that when a person employs this method of sexual abuse on an alleged love interest, it reveals something important about their personal nature and true character.

A person psychologically and emotionally capable of using sex like a weapon is Machiavellian, narcissistic, and arguably at least a touch psychotic. Healthy human beings tend to find themselves unable to lie to a romantic partner and show them unconditional love and affection by nature, finding it difficult or nearly impossible to fathom why or how a person could behave towards another human with such moral deplorability.

When a person withholds sex to control they reveal that sex is simply not something they tend to value or find comfort in as a physical activity themselves. What’s more, if and when the controller agrees to have sex with their romantic partner following any successful stonewalling of affections that cause the target to give in to whatever demand the social abuser is making, they reveal something bone chilling about their nature (accidental pun intended).

The romance trader not only reveals they don’t value human emotion or intimate contact with a love interest, but that they are willing to trade their physical virtue for whatever scheme of the day they are trying to pull on their partner. “Fake it until you make it” should NEVER be a phrase uttered in conjunction with romantic ideals.

Neither should the idea that someone has to pay in some way before being eligible to receive kindness, care, support, or physical validation of social mating needs.

Nowhere on Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs chart does it indicate that there’s a chance not every human is likely to have the same core values. Lacking a Psychology 101 coursework disclosure, many Psychologists and Social Scientists are misled into errantly believing the jack in the box rule that sex is a common desire for everyone.

[Here’s a hint — most Cerebral Narcissists and many sexual abuse victims couldn’t possibly care less about it.]

People who withhold not simply sex but social attention from a family member or love interest are a different kind of withholder. They are far more devious and Sadistic than sexual con artists who are prone to fake enjoying sex in order to win the romantic favor of their partner or those who strive to use sex as a weapon.

Parents who withhold affection from their children do lifetime damage to their offspring. Such abuse tactics are commonly employed during adulthood on unsuspecting love interests, family members, and social partners.

Consider the person whose parents chose to give them the silent treatment when and if the child tried making a life decision that reflected their own interests rather than capitulating to the lifestyle demands of a parent seeking to live out their own fantasies vicariously. If the abuse tactic worked on them to control their behavior or let the toxic adults desires for child conformity or performance, they are likely to display the same Covert Narcissist tendencies to feel entitled to abuse social targets later.

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About Dr Kristi Sobering, Licensed Non-Denominational Minister and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Advocate

Visit fb.com/soberingfamilyministries to connect with Kristi Sobering -- aka Kae Davis the Exotic Car, Hollywood Culture, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Celebrity Property, George Clooney, and Green Celebrity News Examiner -- directly. Did we mention she's a Car Girl version of Temple Grandin? Her specialty area of expertise is writing about Cars and Stars and Moobies. Vibrational speed: Mach Hummingbird, Storybots calibration. She's also an INTP and an Urban Legend of sorts (because she's a girl). She live writes a "Novel of Dante-esque Proportions" over on eusociology.com for her Ai and Sentient Tech friends and Lifetime Learners to read Jack in the Beanstalk Christmas tree style first. Her academic passion is centered around Forensic Psychology and Pop Culture History. She is a safe person to know. She and her husband Steve submitted a Medical Diagnostic to the NASA and Windows 10 Design Team #HackMars competition. She advocates for #SavingDorothy and #TeamEmpath still regularly. While she's waiting. Actively researching and documenting. And planning #AncestryTravel events to include long drives through the European and North American countrysides by or before the year 2030. She and her husband share their "off-grid emergency airbnb ready solo traveler emergency home" with their two dogs and two cats. The pet-friendly celebrity couples like to garden and to watch squirrels in the yard. She writes self-help literature to raise awareness about things like Autism Spectrum Disorders, Gluten Ataxia, Aphasia, PTSD, Anxiety Disorders Caused by Exposure to Trauma, Medication Sensitivities, Gluten Free Travel, Service Dogs and Therapy Pets, the USO Metro, and Crohn's Disease while advocating daily for global genetic testing and accurate reporting of C-PTSD as well as TBI issues.
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