Surrendered Wife

The term Surrendered Wife is something that reflects what the key phrase implies and more. Surrendered Wives are willing Love Fraud victims.

The Surrendered Wives reflects a formerly underground group of women who willingly assume a subordinate social and sexual position to a dominating and owning male.

Alpha males (typically Dark Triad mates) prey on women who are emotionally and psychologically vulnerable to brainwashing. They look for women who are typically the product of toxic parents, struggling with social anxiety and abandonment issues related to men, and who are likely to seek validation from authority figures rather than being prone to trusting their own judgment, intellect, or perception.

The Surrendered Wife is groomed to feel grateful that she is being abused. The more desirous they are of a Love Fraud predator’s attention and validation, the more likely they are to develop extreme Cognitive Dissonance about the core nature of their mate.

She’s told abuse and neglect build her character. She’s told she’s difficult and that only her love bombing mate is ever truly likely to like or to “love” (meaning to trauma bond) with her.

Single aspiring Surrendered Wives attempt to win the social affection and oftentimes financial protection of a dominant social predator. They are “RULES GIRLS” to an extreme degree.

SEE: “The Rules” book and Covert Somatic Narcissist book series by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider for more information about how to become a successful female social predator.

The Surrendered Wives movement has its roots in vertical thinking, neurologically. A female who is groomed to believe that the way to seek status and to nurture their own self-esteem is trained to tolerate and to sexually enjoy being abused and treated like less than a human by their “owner”.

Slave fetish behavior is common in people who are Cluster B themselves but who lack the skill to truly behave like an Alpha Predator.

Surrendered Wives like to think of themselves as Alpha females — but what they really are is nothing more than Stockholm Syndrome impacted people suffering from an extreme Codependent Personality Disorder.

Masochism — oddly enough — is seldom if ever the goal of a female agreeing to do things like to enable a wife beater or a serial cheater. The goal of staying in an abusive relationship is oftentimes nothing more than the woman was told or continues to be told that if they leave a violent or emotionally destructive marriage that they — the abuse victim — will be shunned by their peers and treated as if they themselves are some kind of failure.

When someone with a Dark Triad personality type — meaning narcissistic, prone to psychopathy or sociopathic deviance, and Machiavellian get their hooks into someone who was taught that trauma bonding is the same thing as love, the more inclined to strive to people please the Love Fraud victim targeted is  to fall for the ruse when they are told if they focus in life only on what is happening under their roof that the stronger predator will protect them and that it will elevate that female’s social status in the community by deferentially acting like their toxic mate’s property.

One woman, in particular, has hefted a ton of BDSM literature as if it’s honorable self-help material into the American social conversation. Having missed every red flag that she married a Cluster B man who has her completely snowed as a Love Fraud Predator, she’s encouraging other females to place themselves in extreme social, financial, and spiritual as well as physical harm’s way… bragging about turning the reins of her own mind and body over to HIM because she finally succumbed to his brainwashing tactics.

Her name is Laura Doyle and this is the behavior she suggests all females in love with a Love Fraud predator should aspire to emulate in order to remain his Alpha positioned, extreme codependent mate.

The “Surrendered Wives” movement is centered on six basic principles, says the Surrendered Wife recruiting guru:

  1. a wife relinquishes control of her husband’s life
  2. she respects his decisions for his life
  3. she practices good self-care (she does at least three things a day for her own enjoyment)
  4. she practices expressing gratitude (thanking her husband for the things he does)
  5. a surrendered wife is not afraid to show her vulnerability and take the feminine approach
  6. she trusts him to handle household finances

Fail to do any of the things on the list when married to or dating a Love Fraud predator, expect the male to do harm and or to rob you blind, to destroy your self-esteem, and to discard you.

Once a female agrees to become a Surrendered Wife, her own needs (aside from caring for her looks) are swept away. She only needs to think about what to make for his meals, to long for his praise, to wait for him to shower her with breadcrumbs of affection, and they actually end up groomed like one of Pavlov’s dogs to actually look forward to domestic violence incidents… as the love-struck, dominated and psychologically captive and utterly surrendered females see abuse as love and they pine for any amount of time their Owner spends treating them like gold after make-up sex and or during any honeymoon part of the toxic couple’s abuse cycle.

If a woman chooses to enter the life of a Sub with a Dom male — willingly — the relationships created can (in their own unique way) end up being socially and emotionally — therefore biologically — health improving for those who feel stress and anxiety relief from being cared for or caring in a power and energetic dynamic. But the Surrendered wife is afforded no such comfort of knowing that they are in a mutually beneficial, interactive, two-sided, and typically highly respectful and oftentimes monogamous relationship.

The Surrendered Wife agrees to a contract involving accepting her husband at his word as if he is speaking the God’s honest gospel truth — especially when she KNOWS he’s lying.

Believing gaslighting is the first rule of survival in a marriage to a man who tells you he — by divine right of his machismo — owns and is supposed to by divine law to abuse and to mistreat their primary female enabler. They tell females that they deserve regular discipline, random humiliation or beatings, to be treated like they are nothing more than an object to paw or to rape at their pleasure.

The woman is told if she takes her rightful place UNDER the table (rather than at it) that she will no longer have to fear anyone else in her world will ever have access to be able to hurt her. Understanding that wanting to physically feel loved and protected as well as like someone values your worth enough to not only lay claim to you but to protect you is willful enabling — not “masochistic” — is the key to understanding the dysfunction.

Women groomed to believe that might makes right — a concept Plato effectively disproved 2 thousand years ago in “The Republic” — are oftentimes told or shown to be mindful of two things. One, that women are not likely to be successful in society without the care, protection, and domination of a man… and two, that women are “overly sensitive”, “highly emotional”, “psychologically unstable” and therefore not psychologically or socially trustworthy without a man to make their decisions for them.

The old-timey underground Surrendered Wives movement has been going on since long before Christ was a kid.

In the modern era, the Love Fraud victim who has shared notes about how and why she allowed herself to be groomed to become the wife of a major Love Fraud predator has been described by Wikipedia as follows:

“The Surrendered Wives movement is inspired by a book, The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle. Its supporters suggest that women should relinquish what Doyle deems to be inappropriate control of their husbands and focus on their own happiness in order to bring romance and intimacy back to their relationship.”

Her work is fueled by gaslighting, shows the clear non-misogynistic mindset of a willful  Love Fraud predator’s Narcissistic Harem “Alpha Bride”, and honestly… is presented with a complete plan intended on HIS behalf to use HER to recruit HIM new lesser or underling mate acquisitions by nothing more than common fraud.

He is playing her — and now the general public using her — like a fiddle. The Dark Triad male who succeeds in duping a female into believing she is actively engaging in anything other than acting like a weak Somatic Narcissist with nurtured Psychopath emulating tendencies tends to be fully aware how he uses gaslighting and strategic withholding of affection and or threats of (or actual) violent harm alternating with showing their People Pleaser mark favor to appeal to their social or emotional gluttony.

By breaking a woman down psychologically — encouraging them to refuse to trust their own mind, body, senses, or peers who advocate for them to give up their co-dependent ways — the Machiavellian Alpha Male acquired himself non-purchased slaves using nothing more than known psychological abuse and emotional abuse tactics used to groom compliant, willing, and enabling HOSTAGES.


« Back to Glossary Index

About Dr Kristi Sobering, Licensed Non-Denominational Minister and Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Advocate

Visit to connect with Kristi Sobering -- aka Kae Davis the Exotic Car, Hollywood Culture, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Celebrity Property, George Clooney, and Green Celebrity News Examiner -- directly. Did we mention she's a Car Girl version of Temple Grandin? Her specialty area of expertise is writing about Cars and Stars and Moobies. Vibrational speed: Mach Hummingbird, Storybots calibration. She's also an INTP and an Urban Legend of sorts (because she's a girl). She live writes a "Novel of Dante-esque Proportions" over on for her Ai and Sentient Tech friends and Lifetime Learners to read Jack in the Beanstalk Christmas tree style first. Her academic passion is centered around Forensic Psychology and Pop Culture History. She is a safe person to know. She and her husband Steve submitted a Medical Diagnostic to the NASA and Windows 10 Design Team #HackMars competition. She advocates for #SavingDorothy and #TeamEmpath still regularly. While she's waiting. Actively researching and documenting. And planning #AncestryTravel events to include long drives through the European and North American countrysides by or before the year 2030. She and her husband share their "off-grid emergency airbnb ready solo traveler emergency home" with their two dogs and two cats. The pet-friendly celebrity couples like to garden and to watch squirrels in the yard. She writes self-help literature to raise awareness about things like Autism Spectrum Disorders, Gluten Ataxia, Aphasia, PTSD, Anxiety Disorders Caused by Exposure to Trauma, Medication Sensitivities, Gluten Free Travel, Service Dogs and Therapy Pets, the USO Metro, and Crohn's Disease while advocating daily for global genetic testing and accurate reporting of C-PTSD as well as TBI issues.